


Times of Tony

by Avatar_Midorima



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Female Tony Stark, One-Shots, Team Bonding, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony-centric, all kinds of stuff, and AUs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avatar_Midorima/pseuds/Avatar_Midorima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shots of various stories, all Avengers movie-verse and revolving around my favorite Avenger! All are song-inspired, but ARE NOT SONGFICS. Each is long enough to be it's own story, but ehh. I put them all here anyways.<br/>1: Guess what? I'm not a Robot: The Avengers hadn't seen Tony without his armor (they've seen his face of course, they know it's him) until they move into the tower. Cue Tony attempting to keep his greatest shame hidden and failing horribly.<br/>2: Toni Stark has a dissusion on the wonders of boobs. (Or, the time she needed her arc reactor replaced, but no one was comfortable with <br/>doing it. Except Natasha or Banner, who were no where near her at the time.) Yay male chivalry, she thinks as she's slowly dying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guess What? I'm not a Robot.

**Author's Note:**

> NEVER WROTE FOR THIS FANDOM BEFORE but i'm in an Avengers mood, and it won't go away until i've written something. AUs about Tony being a robot have been written before, but that's not exactly what's happening here. ;) Give it a try! And yes, it's totally inspired by Marina and the Diamonds, I love her songs. Just so you know, this fic starts towards the end of the first Avengers movie. And with that, here is the song to understand the fic better:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkrk3lFVuQE

Loki eyed the man of iron as he walked down his estranged walkway, his only line of defense being shed. He hid his smirk as he entered the large tower, preparing his small speech and planning out his next few moves. Though when the mortal walked in, he looked odd.

"I think your...machine needs some adjustments."

It appeared as though the armor had not come off properly. The man's right leg, left arm, upper right arm, and neck still had armor on. "Actually my machine works just fine." he snarked, casually making his way to the bar.

"Please tell me you're going to appeal for my humanity."

Loki decided it wasn't worth his time to ask any further, so continued his earlier plans.

"Uh, actually, i'm planning to threaten you."

"You should have left all your armor on for that."

     The bickering lasted awhile before Loki's plans were foiled, and New York was saved. As for the current situation; they were having a Mexican janitor eyeing them wearily as they enjoyed the shwarma. Everyone would have to split up for a while, but had agreed (after a very long and tiring argument with one, Nick Fury) that they would form their superhero team and live together in the tower. Which meant that they would find out everything Tony avoided people knowing; but after saving the world together (and Natasha not stabbing him in the back a second time) he figured that he could survive with them knowing a few of his little not-so-secret secrets. Tony took another large bite of his strange sandwich, trying to shift so his armor's weight so it wouldn't break the poor wooden chair below him.

     This was the moment, the moment they'd know the real Tony Stark for what he actually was. Broken with pieces missing, was his best way of putting it. The team shrugged off this warning, Bruce mentioning that they all had issues. Oh boy, this was going to be an interesting next few minutes. They landed on the tower's pad; Tony strode over to the armor-removing-moving circle. (Yep, totally what he named it.) He couldn't help the sudden shortening of breath, and wow, did it get hot in here J.a.r.v.i.s, and holy shit nope nope nope I can't do this. The moving circle froze in air as he quickly took flew off to his lab entrance.

     He knew his new tenants were waiting upstairs, probably confused at his sudden retreat, but he. couldn't. do. this. He shed the armor, than stopped in front of a mirror. (One he kept in the lab for on-body armor adjustments) Tony just couldn't breathe, the reactor wasn't having any issues, but he always felt it's weight during times like this. Only Pepper and Rhodey have ever seen him without the armor on. Well, and agent, but that's a story for another time. (A hilarious one to tell the team, if he ever gets his ass back out there.)

"J.a.r.v.i.s, guide them to their rooms please. Let them know i'll see them first thing in the morning."

 "Very well sir, but I recommend, as you would put it, 'getting it over with.'"

"And that's exactly what I'm doing J, tomorrow."

"Ok, so yay for breakfast and this completely amazing tower, but is Tony EVER going to actually grace us with his presence?"

     Thor and the Captain were investigating the state of the art kitchen appliances, while Bruce, Nat, and himself were munching on some toast. They'd figured the billionaire had merely had work to do after skipping out on them last night, but they were getting impatient. Whether they liked it or not, they were all fairly excited to have a family to call their own. Even if it was with Stark.

"Sir is currently..working on something. I advise patients, Agent Barton."

"Is everything alright, J.a.r.v.i.s? It didn't seem like he was looking forward to us living here with him."  Steve frowned at the ceiling. If Tony hadn't been comfortable with them invading his home, he could have just said something!

"Sir is very elated to have, and I quote, 'the most badass family of super-people sharing a house.' As I stated previously, I simply advise patience."

Natasha's warning bells went off at the way J.a.v.r.v.i.s said that. "There's something he hasn't told us; something that you aren't telling us either."

"Fwat hahsn't heh tohold ahs?"  Clint asked, as he shoved more toasted bread into his mouth.

"Sir has not givin' me permission to reveal that data." the AI answered, almost regretfully. "I do believe that it may be a while until he is..able to come up from his lab."

"Is the Man of Iron not well?" Thor had ceased his attempts at working the toaster, and let Bruce finish making Tony's plate.

"Sorry, sorry! Had some random upgrades and science-y things that couldn't be left unattended."

   Tony rushed through the kitchen, ignoring everyone's stares, grabbing his plate. He took a seat at the island table, shoveling down the food so he could aviod questions. He decided that instead of just showing or even telling them about it, to wear sweatpants, a hoodie, and a scarf in the middle of summer instead. Best plan ever.

"Stark, are you ok?" Natasha's stare was more computing, with some small hints of concern floating around.

"Never been better, actually. I'm a member of the most amazing superhero team ever gathered, after all." He practically threw his plate into the sink in his haste. "So I was thinking, story night? Doing some team bonding this evening with pizza or sushi or whatever, telling some awesome stories, yeah? But until then, I am needed by science bye." And with that, he was already gone.

"Uhh, what just happened?" Bruce asked after a few short seconds.

"He's going to tell us tonight, it seems." Natasha replied as she left the kitchen.

       And so, story night. They all gathered in the giant TV room, Tony still wearing his strange get-up. Thor had just finished a strange tale about his childhood, and all eyes turned to him. He took a deep breathe and began.

"Once upon a time," everyone groaned, Clint threw a piece of popcorn at him. "There was a boy who lived a mostly normal life. He could create incredible things, and lived in very large house."

   Bruce smiled to himself, the team knew this story was about him. Natasha was the only worried one, it seemed.

"He had a mother who was normal, a father who was complicated, and a super-butler who never left his side." Another breathe. "But one day, his super-butler was tasked with something besides watching over him. And during that day, the boy was all alone. It was on that day-"

Everyone tried to ignore how tense he sounded.

"Some jealous businessmen wanted to steal the boy. They thought he could make their company better weapons."

Now everyone was tense, all trying to put the pieces together, why was he telling them this?

"They broke into his house using bombs near his bedroom."

Silence.

"The boy..." Tony chocked a bit. This was it, his confession. "Didn't end up going with them, but he was never the same."

Small gasp from Steve.

"The boy barley survived, and he..lost some things to those men." Tony slowly removed the jacket, and scarf. More gasps. "His father, though having a complicated love-hate relationship with the boy, assisted him with building those parts; so perhaps the boy could be whole again. And he did. But, the boy remained broken, his limbs can remove, except for the neck piece, and join with the rest of the Iron Man armor."

The others face's had complex emotions on display, various levels of pity, shock, sadness, understanding. Tony's face was dark, but then he actually began to smile, startling the team.

"But then the boy started living with the most kick-ass superhero team ever assembled!"

His smile was contagious, he rarely ever gave a real one.

"It made him feel a little less incomplete, so they boy lived happily ever after!"

Clint chucked the entire bowl of popcorn at him.


	2. She's a Genius!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni Stark has a discussion on the wonders of boobs. (Or, the time she needed her arc reactor replaced, but no one was comfortable with   
> doing it. Except Natasha or Banner, who were no where near her at the time.) Yay male chivalry, she thinks as she's slowly dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be more serious, but oops. Also, HAWKEYE IS OUT OF CHARACTER. (Sort of, a bit.)   
> (BTW, I am a female, so please do not yell at me for sexist jokes. It's crude humor, so be warned!)

"OH MY GOD ROGERS, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T TOUCH MY BOOBS RIGHT NOW I WILL-"

      Her threat was cut off by more coughs and gags. Toni was currently lying on the pavement, trying not to suffocate to death. The arc reactor was damaged, and Brucie + Nat were no where close enough to her location. Of course, she had her back up, which she handed to Steve, but she couldn't replace the damaged one on her own. And just her luck, she had the guy from the 70s to assist her because her other male teammate was an asshat. Well, and the other one was a clueless god.

"You need me to do what??" He asked, cheeks turning red.

"I'm not..asking you to have sex..with me Steve!" Toni gasped. "JUST..TAKE THE..SHIRT OFF.."

He still looked completely uncomfortable, but did as she asked. His faced reddened even more when he saw her bra, and Clint just whistled from behind him.

"If you're so familiar with..naked girls,Clint....than you do it!" All Toni needed was that new arc reactor plugged in, but now it seemed like she was playing 20 questions with these three.

"JUST, tell me what to do!" Steve shouted. Even though he was trying to be courteous, his teammate was still in distress.

"Release the...one in...my chest, than...unplug it. After......just plug...the new one....in!" Oh wow, those dark spots weren't there before.Steve's hand was now ON the arc reactor at least, though he looks like he could explode any second with how red his face is.

"Ok...now, twist and lift it out....righty..tighty, left loosey." He followers her directions as the asshat giggles from somewhere behind him.

"I will not..hesitate to..rip those balls..off Barton."

"TONI PLEASE! WHAT NOW??"

"Unplug it, than..plug in the...new......"

"Toni? TONI?!? C'mon, we're-"

         The next thing Toni heard was Clint's cries for help. Serves him right.

"Go Nat! Kill the bitch." Ah, it felt so good to be snarky with a normal breath of air.

"Toni! Oh thank gosh you're alright." She opened her eyes to Steve with his head in his hands, taking deep breaths.

"Sadly, you should be thanking Clint." Nat grunted out.

"Old Stevie here was gonna let you die." Clint rasped from his current position: in a wrestling hold by Nat. (Bless this woman.)

"I WOULD NEVER-"

"It's ok!" Brucie stepped in. "You BOTH did it correctly and Toni's fine now."

"I would have attempted to help, if the eye of the hawk had not done so before me!"

"I have a plan." Toni announced, standing up and ignoring their bickering. "Ok, everyone come touch my boobs."

Steve sputtered, Clint attempted to laugh, Nat remained impassive, Thor looked confused (as usual) and Brucie smiled at her.

"This way," she continued, "no one will have any problems saving my life next time. They're just squishy fleshy circles."


End file.
